At ETR, we often have our students ask, "How can I become more assertive?" There is no doubt about it, there are people in our lives who are harmful to our health and we don't enjoy being around them.

I read recently that toxic people make up about ten percent of the population and cause over 50% of all communication and relationship stress. Unfortunately, you are not able to change them or their personalities but you can learn how to cope with these toxic people at home, at work and at play.

What you read here won't do a thing to improve your situation unless you have the courage to use the suggestions given. Go for it! You're worth the effort.

TOXIC PEOPLE………( If you let them, will…)

Rob us of our dignity.

Destroy our self-confidence.

Increase our stress levels.

Destroy our morale.

Erode our self- esteem.

Foster negativity

Decrease productivity.

Are toxic because they can get away with it and it works for them.

How to deal with toxic people

Remember that you can't change these people, but you can learn to cope with them. Here are some effective strategies to try.

* Always stand at eye level with the person you are confronting. Never have them standing
  over you looking down.

* Respect the toxic person and always expect respect in return. Settle for nothing less.

* Remain calm.

* Listen attentively.

* Don't argue or interrupt, just listen.

* Don't accuse or judge, just state how you feel.

* If the toxic person tries to verbally bully you, just say, " I don't allow people to treat me this
   way." Then slowly and calmly walk away.

* When someone is being toxic to you here is a powerful response and one that is easy to
   use because you don't have to say a word. In the midst of a toxic attack just PAUSE....
   LOOK AT THE PERSON, WITHOUT EMOTION......TURN AND WALK AWAY. It works!

* If all else fails you might be left with only one option; separate yourself from the toxic person in
   your life.

Remember, you can only let someone hurt you if you allow it to happen. Stand up for yourself – You are worth it!

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